Word Filled Wednesday: What I should have said

Someone that I love recently asked me how I know God exists. How do you prove God to someone who is on the fence and wants to know how you’re sure you aren’t just being brainwashed? How do you convey faith in concrete terms that makes someone who is trying to find theirs understand? This was one of the most important conversations I’ve had. We were talking about her soul, all of eternity. I felt so much pressure to say something profound, to get the words just right to make her suddenly see the light. And I didn’t. There was no profound moment of realization. In fact, I’m pretty sure I just gave her more questions.

That conversation has been weighing on me. I had been waiting for an opportunity to try to encourage her, to help her find her way to Him. I knew she needed to be saved, and I thought I was the one person in her life that could help her. And when we were finally alone with no distractions, when she was finally receptive to what I had to say…I fumbled. I failed her.

I’ve been having conversations with my daughter and my husband, asking them how they know God exists. While the topic has inspired some great conversation, I didn’t get any concrete answers I could use. Since this person reads my blog, I thought I could put together a powerful and moving post that would convince her beyond a doubt that there is a God, and that she needs Him in her life.

And then it hit me as I started writing. I can’t save her. It isn’t up to me. All this time I had been trying to figure out a way to make my faith something tangible, something she could see or touch to believe in. And faith, by definition, is exactly the  opposite. I wanted to give her something concrete that she couldn’t poke holes in, but I couldn’t. I realize that if it is your intent to disprove something, or to not believe in it, you will find a way no matter what you’re presented with.

I know God exists because I’ve read the Bible (that I can’t prove is real, and not altered in the translation) After reading it, after studying it and immersing myself in the word…there just isn’t any way I could doubt it’s authenticity. There are some things you just have to know to understand. The Bible is one of those things. (Photoshop is another ;)

I know God is real when I look at the amazing beauty of His creation. I know God is real because I’ve experienced the miracle of childbirth. Most of all, I know God is real because I felt His call. Five years ago when my heart was restless and in search of something, I felt Him. He relentlessly pursued my heart until I had no choice but to slow down and listen. And I’ve learned so much since then. And the more I learn about Him, the more I love Him and want to please Him. See, that’s what it’s about. Once I received Jesus as my Savior, all my sin was atoned for. There is nothing I can do or not do to get myself into Heaven. It isn’t about works, it’s about faith. BUT, I choose every single day to try to live my life the way He wants me to. I try to be the person He wants me to be because I love Him. Because I realize what an amazing sacrifice Jesus made on that cross. Because the more I learn about Him, I can’t help but be in awe of His magnificence.

So. It isn’t up to me. I can’t save her. I was foolish and naive to think that I could. I can live my life as an example of Christ’s love so that she can witness it. I can let the Lord work through me to get to her. But only God can save her. And He will. He’s pursuing her. He’s making Himself known in her life, and He’s speaking to her heart. All she has to do is slow down and listen.

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